It has been 3 days since my daughter has been diagnosed with swine flu. I do feel for her and the body pain she is going through. In times like these it shows us just how strong our children are. My daughter is a trooper. She has kept her her spirits up while her body is down. Im very proud of her. So young and unaware of the coping strategies of others. She just is confident that she will feel better tomorrow.
I think as adults some of us are so use to the quick fix, the pill that will make it all better and quick. Oh to go back to that approach, that tomorrow will be a better day.
I try that, I really do. I mean at the end of the day we all have the same struggles right?? Stress is only unique because it is our own right??
Why is it then, when we are in the midst of these hard times we don't dig deep into our childlike memories and see that tomorrow will be another day.
Sometimes, taking a moment to reflect back to our youth will bring us into our future.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Saturday, October 3, 2009
Genetically me & my family r the same. What does that say about me?
Weird thought huh?? If I am like most people I think I am similiar to my family, in hair, eyes, smile ect. But that's it right?? We r only similiar in our genes nothing more, right??
I mean I couldnt be as petty as my aunt Sally or as stubborn as my brother or even as thoughtless as my cousin Jeanine right?? That is them, thats not me.!!!!
Im most certainly not petty (except that one time I got a re gifted gift and was annoyed), Im certainly not stubborn (as long as they see it my way without to much problem) and Lord knows Im not thoughtless (I consider every cold calculated word that lashed out of my tongue).
I spent the last few days finish the book "The Shack" which I recommend to anyone. Believer or not. It really gives you some great life lessons to think about.
Anyway; as I read through the book a few things in my own life jumped out at me, heck some damn near stabbed me in the heart.. As much as I am not like those around me that have hurt me, I have in some way Im sure committed similiar offenses. If I am to expect them to forgive me, should I then forgive them as well?
Forgiveness is hard. I dont like how it feels all of the time.
I find comfort in my abilty to wear my unforgiveness like a blanket around me warm, comforting and safe. If it wear it well then no one can get to me...right? I mean my blanket is made of teflon or steel or something.
Guess what though, I have found out by opening myself up to forgiveness that my blanket is.....OLD, worn has holes in it. I think the holes may be from the ways "Im NOT"; that I have shared with others. The thoughtless words, the judgemnts Iv passed the forgiveness I have yet to share.
These holes are truly what is keeping me weak.
I will patch up a hole each day, by forgiving those whom I need to forgive, by not passing judgement on those needing love. By doing this, I think my blanket of security will begin to cover the wounds left by the people "Im NOT anything like".
I mean I couldnt be as petty as my aunt Sally or as stubborn as my brother or even as thoughtless as my cousin Jeanine right?? That is them, thats not me.!!!!
Im most certainly not petty (except that one time I got a re gifted gift and was annoyed), Im certainly not stubborn (as long as they see it my way without to much problem) and Lord knows Im not thoughtless (I consider every cold calculated word that lashed out of my tongue).
I spent the last few days finish the book "The Shack" which I recommend to anyone. Believer or not. It really gives you some great life lessons to think about.
Anyway; as I read through the book a few things in my own life jumped out at me, heck some damn near stabbed me in the heart.. As much as I am not like those around me that have hurt me, I have in some way Im sure committed similiar offenses. If I am to expect them to forgive me, should I then forgive them as well?
Forgiveness is hard. I dont like how it feels all of the time.
I find comfort in my abilty to wear my unforgiveness like a blanket around me warm, comforting and safe. If it wear it well then no one can get to me...right? I mean my blanket is made of teflon or steel or something.
Guess what though, I have found out by opening myself up to forgiveness that my blanket is.....OLD, worn has holes in it. I think the holes may be from the ways "Im NOT"; that I have shared with others. The thoughtless words, the judgemnts Iv passed the forgiveness I have yet to share.
These holes are truly what is keeping me weak.
I will patch up a hole each day, by forgiving those whom I need to forgive, by not passing judgement on those needing love. By doing this, I think my blanket of security will begin to cover the wounds left by the people "Im NOT anything like".
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
First day of the rest of my life????
I finished the final edit on my (hopefully) first book. What is going to become of this new venture?? Will anything come of it? I should spend time being amazed at the fact that I was able to accomplish it. I feel truley blessed that a agency has picked me up.
Im scared as well, I feel self doubt that I can actually do this. I am person who has a GED but nothing more. I have done well in my life through hard work and effort. I am ready for a change. Id like to inspre my kids to know that they can accomplish anything they put their minds to.
I am learning to listen more than I was listened to. That is a struggle, I want to help others but I seem over step sometimes. Wanting more for them then they want for themselves. Ok, Im a pusher, push them, push myself, push, push , push.
Im scared as well, I feel self doubt that I can actually do this. I am person who has a GED but nothing more. I have done well in my life through hard work and effort. I am ready for a change. Id like to inspre my kids to know that they can accomplish anything they put their minds to.
I am learning to listen more than I was listened to. That is a struggle, I want to help others but I seem over step sometimes. Wanting more for them then they want for themselves. Ok, Im a pusher, push them, push myself, push, push , push.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
What the hell am I doing?
Never did I think that blogging is something I would do. But in each of our lives comes a time when we have to do something new, and unexpected.
Seattle is amazing this time of year, you never know what you are going to get. Luckily; Shoreline is beautiful this time of year, sunny yet crisp and cool. The leaves are changing the pumpkins are showing up everywhere.
I have found 2 similiar themes in my own life right now: things are changing and my body looks like a pumpkin....I have always been driven, driven to succeed, work hard, be in control.
As I get closer to 40 I have these changing colors growing inside me but Im not sure what to do with them. Thinking of changing careers in mid stream makes no sense at all, but feel like a huge weight is lifted when I move that way. Hopefully I can use this forum to help figure out; "What the Hell Im doing?
Seattle is amazing this time of year, you never know what you are going to get. Luckily; Shoreline is beautiful this time of year, sunny yet crisp and cool. The leaves are changing the pumpkins are showing up everywhere.
I have found 2 similiar themes in my own life right now: things are changing and my body looks like a pumpkin....I have always been driven, driven to succeed, work hard, be in control.
As I get closer to 40 I have these changing colors growing inside me but Im not sure what to do with them. Thinking of changing careers in mid stream makes no sense at all, but feel like a huge weight is lifted when I move that way. Hopefully I can use this forum to help figure out; "What the Hell Im doing?
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