Weird thought huh?? If I am like most people I think I am similiar to my family, in hair, eyes, smile ect. But that's it right?? We r only similiar in our genes nothing more, right??
I mean I couldnt be as petty as my aunt Sally or as stubborn as my brother or even as thoughtless as my cousin Jeanine right?? That is them, thats not me.!!!!
Im most certainly not petty (except that one time I got a re gifted gift and was annoyed), Im certainly not stubborn (as long as they see it my way without to much problem) and Lord knows Im not thoughtless (I consider every cold calculated word that lashed out of my tongue).
I spent the last few days finish the book "The Shack" which I recommend to anyone. Believer or not. It really gives you some great life lessons to think about.
Anyway; as I read through the book a few things in my own life jumped out at me, heck some damn near stabbed me in the heart.. As much as I am not like those around me that have hurt me, I have in some way Im sure committed similiar offenses. If I am to expect them to forgive me, should I then forgive them as well?
Forgiveness is hard. I dont like how it feels all of the time.
I find comfort in my abilty to wear my unforgiveness like a blanket around me warm, comforting and safe. If it wear it well then no one can get to me...right? I mean my blanket is made of teflon or steel or something.
Guess what though, I have found out by opening myself up to forgiveness that my blanket is.....OLD, worn has holes in it. I think the holes may be from the ways "Im NOT"; that I have shared with others. The thoughtless words, the judgemnts Iv passed the forgiveness I have yet to share.
These holes are truly what is keeping me weak.
I will patch up a hole each day, by forgiving those whom I need to forgive, by not passing judgement on those needing love. By doing this, I think my blanket of security will begin to cover the wounds left by the people "Im NOT anything like".
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